Saturday, May 30, 2009

There's a World Where I Can Go

It's really bizarre to be sitting in my room right now as I type this. The only remaining pieces of furniture are my bed and desk, which I've sold and therefore must stay here, and my nightstand, which will be gone by the end of the day. Exactly one half of my room has been repainted white from it's former shade of cafe olay. Almost all of the books and movies that used to dominant the room have been extricated and all of the pictures that made the room feel comforting and restful are gone. By the end of the day, this room will be officially devoid of almost all evidence that I ever spent two years of my life in it.
Those two years have been pregnant with change and memory. I have cried, laughed, stressed, worked, played, read, vegged, and occasionally slept in this room for two of the most significant years of my life. And as I pack up the last of my personal possessions, I'm also packing up my time here, which makes me sad. I'm saying goodbye to an immensely significant time of my life.
Now I wait to find out where the next room will be and what it will be like. I leave cette chambre to wait. And that's scary and frustrating.

Thursday, May 21, 2009


It's so bizarre to be writing about my niece. It means that I have officially moved up the familial hierarchy to the level of authority... the level that the Grown-Ups are at. Isabella was born this morning with so little trouble, which is a blessing, in such stark contrast to the way we came to this point, with so many disappointed hopes and frustrations. But as I held that tiny little girl this afternoon, I realized that all those other moments were part of what made her arrival so sweet. That's the beauty of the cycle of life that's been given to us- death, as much as it stings and hurts, always brings forth life again. The beauty of the fall foilage is death, followed by the tomb of winter. But once spring comes back with its lush greens and beautiful flowers, you realize that all the death was necessary to come to that moment of life and that it was worth it.

This afternoon, I am just grateful that the joy of life has come back to our family and blessed to have some time to spend with my sweet new niece.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

The Beginning (of the End...?)

I gave this a try Freshman year... the result was so emo that I might as well have been recruited to contribute the next Dashboard album. But as I embark on the next phase of life and watch my cohorts do the same, it occurred to me that this could be a good way to update people on what I'm doing, thinking, feeling, reading, praying, and experiencing. I'm going to do my best to keep the black nail polish in the drawer and some perspective at hand.
As I send these thoughts out into the void, I hope that you, dear void, will respond in kind and reciprocate with me. Foremost, I want to use this space to reflect and connect. So join me, weary traveller! We're in for a bumpy ride...