Sunday, May 16, 2010

Entering the Wilderness

Life has been pretty hectic since I returned from my self-imposed spring break. There's been lots of work, lots of socializing... and lots of engaging with things that I want to ignore. I don't want to deal with my problems, with the ugly roots that keep me from fully enjoying life. But that's exactly what I've been called to do in this season. It's not fun- especially when you feel like such a mess at work- but it's also joyful because I know I'm being obedient, I know that I'm doing what I've been asked to do.
It's all a little vague, I know. But I don't want to disrespect my family by getting into more details. Suffice it to say, there's a lot going on with me right now, things that my family is not ready to process, and so I need to respect God's timing, not mine.
I am entering the wilderness and I know I will be met there. I am expectant and hopeful, so that makes me excited in a way. But I am not naive enough to think that I will be feeling very happy for the next little bit. It's going to be a little lonely and a little long.
But praise the Lord that He has given me community here and in Knoxville! When I think about the people  who love me and care about me, it makes me feel overwhelmed with how gracious they are to me! So as I walk through this time, thank you for bearing with me, for dealing with my emotional dumps on you after a long day at work, for asking me how I am, for praying for me, for reminding me of all the things I'm fighting to enjoy fully.
And sorry for the vague, emo post. I will try to perk things up for next time :).

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