Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The Digs: Trusting the Lord All Over Again

So, as you all know, I completed a move away from hip, chic Arlington to quiet, untrendy Falls Church just over 6 weeks ago. Traumatic might be a little bit of strong word for the experience, but it was certainly unpleasant and not something I was looking to repeat any time soon. Ah, the best laid plans.
When I returned home on Friday, there was a small letter waiting in the mailbox, informing my roommates and I that our lease is being terminated early and that we must be out by November 30. There was no reason given, though before I moved in, the owners mentioned that they were thinking about moving back into our house. I can only assume that that is exactly what they have decided to do, a month and a half after they renewed our lease. I was shocked- and angry, and frustrated. What in the world? Could they even legally be allowed to terminate without cause? Upon reviewing our lovely 30 page lease, my roommate who is a lawyer realized that there was a clause that said, yes, indeed, they could legally terminate our lease without cause.
It was so surreal. How could this be possible- after all the money and trouble to be able to move into this house, it's all been a waste. I have to expend the finances and energy all over again.
But as the initial shock and visceral reaction begins to wear off, I can only laugh and shake my head. Something so out of the blue has all the regular markings of the Lord up to some kind of crazy plan.
See, we want answers so immediately. I do, anyways. I want things to make sense to me and I want to be in control of them. But that is just not how life really works, and that's definitely not how God works. I have spent my whole life trying to be in control and to make life adaptable to my desires- but really, when I'm still and I'm honest with myself, what I really desire is Jesus. The great part of that is that Jesus promises that those who seek Him will find Him. The hard part about seeking Him is that you do a lot of waiting and a lot of listening- two things that I have never been that great at.
God has promised to lead me, protect me, and guide me. But I have to let Him do it. It's like a toddler who gets a trike for Christmas that has to be put together- he wants to do it himself. When his father reaches to help, he stubbornly yanks the pieces away, and at the end, he has a one wheeled junk heap, with extra pieces laying around that wouldn't fit. I want with everything in me to give up and let Him take the pieces and reassemble them so that it all fits together the way that they were destined and designed to.
So I'm waiting and praying that He will do put together the pieces in a situation that I definitely don't understand right now. I'm still confident that God led me to this place, so I will be just as confident that He is leading me out. Now, whether He's leading me to somewhere by myself, to somewhere with roommates, to somewhere inexpensive, or to somewhere that will cost a little more, I'm not sure. But that's why my Father lets me talk to Him and sort these things out with Him.
I am unsure of what's going on right now, but I am very sure that one day I will understand why God led me here and then away so quickly. In the mean time, I'm trying to be patient and wait on what the next steps should be.
If anyone has any housing leads, let me know. I will definitely be thankful for any prospects to consider!

1 comment:

  1. Although I have no housing leads for you, I do have a little prayer for you in my heart! I ABHOR moving with everything in me, but I know there is a purpose behind it!