Thursday, July 5, 2012

On Being a Fireworks Debbie Downer

Okay, sorry, I'm writing this as I'm trying to get some sleep before I have to wake up at 4:30 to get on a plane for work. This background is inevitably coloring my post, but bear with me, because my sentiments are long standing.

I really don't give a flying flip about fireworks. Or the 4th of July for that matter. I don't really understand what all the hubbub is about. 

To be fair, there is some general antagonistic feelings on my part because my birthday is so close to the holiday and it invariably ruined whatever party plans my parents hatched as a child (in fact, if two slow poke signers had actually made it to the meeting on time, my birthday would be Independence Day). 

But aside from my misgivings, I deeply resent this holiday for one simple reason: fireworks are a wasteful annoyance to anyone in a one mile radius. Why do people get so excited about them? This is a genuine puzzlement to me. If you have seen one or two decent fireworks displays, you've really seen most of what there is to see in the way of fireworks. Yet people flip their lids over these pyrotechnic displays year after year. Why? They are pretty enough, but it's ridiculously expensive to put on a 30 minute display.

Then there's the practical consideration for those who are shooting these off in neighborhoods. I'm sorry, but it's really just one of the rudest things you can possibly do. To set off fireworks outside of someone else's house is basically flipping them the bird and saying, "I don't care if you have kids who are in bed, or if you need to get up early for work tomorrow morning, or even if you simply don't want to feel like you're in Beirut every time one of my colorful bombs shakes your house. I don't care if one of my fiery rockets accidentally sets your home ablaze. My enjoyment of shiny light shows is more important than being a considerate neighbor."

Again, I'm cranky about this since I am one of those party-poopers who has to get up at 4:30am to go to work the day after the 4th. I got in bed at 9 and was actually managing to drift off when my neighbor started setting fireworks off at 9:30 in the cul de sac in front of the house. My entire bed is shaking like a train car every time they set one off. They make all kinds of booms and whirly noises and screams, and if I was a veteran with PTSD, I would be triggered right now, because it seriously sounds like my parents' home is taking fire. 

Anyways, sounds like they are finally winding down their hour long display, so I'll try to mellow out again and squeeze in a couple hours of sleep before I have to wake up. 

But seriously, can someone explain why this is an acceptable celebratory pass time?


  1. FAvorite line, "and if I was a veteran with PTSD, I would be triggered right now"....hahahahaha! Love it and love YOU. I will close now with a hearty rendition of God Bless America.

    1. I try to keep it fresh with the armchair psychologist angle ;).