Monday, July 16, 2012

On Summer Laziness

The French call it ennui, I call it the muddles. Either way, I'm in that lazy state of summer lolligagging that is making all non-essential activity near impossible. A combination of factors have converged to form this state. First, in the words of the Real Housewives of New Jersey, it's hot as balls. Seriously. It's been so hot this summer that the idea of exerting an extra iota of effort feels like a Herculean task that we mortals should not be expected to accomplish. Plus, my bedroom is in the attic of an old house, which means the air circulation is low and subsequently, the Frankie cooling off ratio is low (cooled off-ness/amount of air circulating, for those running the numbers).

Plus... well, to be honest, I think I'm just feeling overwhelmed. There's a lot that needs to happen for me to move my life from DC to Tennessee, and then from Tennessee to Vancouver. Turns out that these things take a lot of planning and general mental effort.  Added to that the fact that work has somehow managed to become more intense since I quit (shouldn't I be taking it easy by now?) and the plain old guilt I have that I won't be able to spend the kind of time I want with my DC friends before I leave, and the general BS that comes with turning a quarter century and wondering what the hizz-eck you are doing with your life, and you have a very frazzled Frankie.

It's at these times that I realize how important it is to have routine and stability - the things that keep you moored in a churning sea of your own making. Things like blogging, reading, and prayer can be seen as narcissistic, to be sure, but I find that the routine of these pleasures are worthwhile docks for me. It's not hard for me to feel like a ship passing in the night with my own life, so it's actually important for me to make time to do the little things that keep me grounded. I think I mistakenly associate summer with "not having to do anything." The implication of having to do something is that it's a slog or punishment. But you know what? If I neglect things that I "have to do," it ends up making me feel crappy. So yeah, I "have to" read. But I love reading and it helps keep me sane. So even if I'm feeling lazy, I'm learning that I need to make time to do the things that make me feel like myself.

Anyways, hopefully I'll be back to regular posting this week. Because I have to.

What routines do you find hard to maintain during summer months?

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